Tour De Laos

Vientienne – Vang Vieng – Luang Prabang

The Night Bus from Hanoi to Vientienne: 

This. Was. Traumatising.

Not only were Fi and I conned into buying a non-existent 1st class bus ticket to Laos, we also had to add 5 hours to our already 19 hour journey and share a bed/horizontal seat.

We were then used as a disguise for the illegal smuggling of stock over the Vietnam/Laos border. The bus staff literally piled up clothes and other items into the aisles, so that some backpackers were buried alive (whilst Fi and I watched from the safety of our top bunk). 

Trau-ma-tising.

The HIGHLIGHTS: (as our time in Laos was short but sweet, so shall the highlights be)

Vientienne: a quick one night stop over in this sleepy French-like town, allowed Fi and I to indulge in veggie lasagnes and pesto pastas before loading our backpacks and ourselves onto another bus destined for Vang Vieng. 

(I also had a kitty sleep on my bed for half the night – which was amazing, until I realised he was sleeping on my blanket and wouldn't be moved … the little shit.) 

Vang Vieng: I loved VV. We had one day playing the very romantic cyclists, riding through the  countryside, tunnelling through caves, hiking up a never ending cliff, and discovering a hidden underground cave-pool where we had a relaxing paddle! It was honestly one of the best days ever. It also ended with a trip to Gary’s Irish bar where I consumed a veggie burger the size of my head – so, like I said: BEST DAY EVA. 

The "viewpoint" and underground cave-pool

And of course, we spent another day participating in the famed Vang Vieng “tubing”. Well, kind of … Halfway through the day, already drunk, we participated in a game of Musical Tubes, where I was scandalously tackled by a fellow tuber, resulting in my newly healing Saigon Kiss (aka: exhaust burn) having the skin ripped off it. I was then sent to the clinic, where a nurse (whom I'm convinced was a child) cleaned up my wound and drugged me. I'm not joking. I was knocked out for 17 hours. I missed out on dinner – so you know something dodgy was occurring.

<During this little interlude, Fi and Pod employed some rather questionable tactics to allow one of the them to actually win musical tubes, AND a free alcohol bucket. My theory is that this bucket is the cause of both of their phones “mysteriously” getting water damaged. But don't tell them that>

Fi and I also hit a new level in our friendship (success!) when we both got bikini waxes … whilst lying right next to each other … Yes, it is as weird and awkwardly hilarious as it sounds.

Luang Prabang: Pad Thai. The best Pad Thai you've ever seen, or smelt, or dreamed of. Imagine the kind of Pad Thai they serve kings. It was the God of all pad thais. It deserves its own podium …. And maybe a superhero cape?

Moving on from the Ode to a Pad Thai, Luang Prabang was quite eventful. Sunrise yoga, the most beautiful/lethal waterfall I have seen/climbed so far, a night market that robbed me of most of my money (I forgot I was a poor backpacker), “clubbing” – but actually bowling because that's the only place that serves alcohol after 11pm, and … Yeah, did I mention the Pad Thai?

NEXT STOP: NORTH THAILAND!!

    



 

       

Fast and Furious: The Vietnamese Edition, pt.2

The roads travelled: Đà Lạt, Nha Trang, Hoi An, Hue, Phong Nha, Ninh Binh, Halong Bay, and Hanoi (still on our bikes and still with Ollie - which is good because he's our map)

The HIGHLIGHTS:

Đà Lạt: Đà Lạt was our first official stop on our bikes, and we were very surprised when we arrived. It strongly resembles a European town, with its townhouses, large lakes with swan peddle boats, and complimentary shit weather.

Whilst in Đà Lạt we signed up for canyoning – which is set right in the middle of the jungly mountains. It's pretty cool, and you get to abseil into a waterfall (and nearly drown … But it's all worth it for the photos, am I right?).

Nha Trang: was literally a pit stop where we cheekily dumped ourselves and our bikes on a night train, in the hopes of avoiding a 12 hour hard ride. We also bought Twixs’. Which is important, because I love Twixs.

Hoi An: my absolute favourite place in Vietnam - it's gorgeous. The old French and Chinese architecture in the ancient city are decorated with brightly coloured lanterns which are all lit up at night. It was like being in Tangled (cue the song: At last I see the Light – if you don't know this, get off my blog right now, we can't be friends if you don't watch Disney). 

We spent our time here strolling through the town, eating dim-sum, having afternoon cocktails, and watching a tipsy Fi getting the chavviest henna tattoo known to traveller – and no we didn't try to stop her ;)

From Hoi An we rode to Hue, which means going through the Hai Van Pass. This was one of the best biking experiences. I can't count the number of times we had to stop to look at the views surrounding us – it was absolutely beautiful (and we only nearly got killed by trucks overtaking us round sharp bends a handful of times – lucky us).

Hue: we made the decision to spend our one day in Hue not in the town, but rather at the coast for a much needed remote beach stay. We got sandy, we got tanned, and we saw the best glow in the dark plankton EVER. The waves were actually glowing a luminous green at night!! 

Phong Nha: My second favourite place in Vietnam. It's small, but absolutely gorgeous. The main attraction here are the caves (and there are loads) and the tuna toasties (of which I did not eat enough). 

We chose to explore Paradise Cave which was like walking through a Lord of the Rings set (I wish I had a beard so I could've pretended to be Gimli – but this is a daily dream of mine and may not have anything to do with caves).

Ninh Binh: I don't even want to talk about this place. The 11 hour bike ride here nearly killed Fi and I (literally – but that's a story I don't think our parents should read).

Our hostel was at least a converted train station with a Platform 9 & 3/4 sign. That helped a little.

Halong Bay/Cat Ba: This was the strangest place I've ever seen, Cat Ba literally looks like everything was built in the 70s and has not been touched since - the type of place your grandparents would love. 

Whilst here we did the traditional boat tour of Halong Bay – and although the weather was practically English, it was still an amazing day. From the never ending kayaking to seeing first hand the very rare Golden-headed langurs (there's only 58 left!), and consuming my weight in veggie spring rolls. 

Hanoi: The obvious highlight of this destination was selling my bike.

Just kidding … I was so so so lucky to get to see my bestie Nini, Emma and Ellie when our travels crossed paths in Hanoi (Nini cried, twice). We had such a lovely day visiting the Museum of Women and the Temple of Literature, and bbqing our own dinner in the local market (well, Ellie actually cooked my dinner, but I was there … Watching).

The saddest part of this trip was saying goodbye to our little Ollie. I don't know how he's put up with Fi and I for the last 6 weeks … but he did it successfully and gallantly, and with many complaints of us not riding fast enough ;)

Applications for our new travelling companion are now open, but hurry, because we already have a potential candidate stalking us (Hello, Padraig). 

Next stop: LAOS!!

Fast and Furious: The Vietnamese Edition, pt.1

The roads thus travelled: Ho Chi Minh City, Mũi Né, HCMC (again) – still accompanied by Ollie (he really won't leave, we've tried paying him and everything)

When planning my travels, I've always said that Vietnam was the country I was most eager to see. And writing this blog post with little less than a couple of days left (yes, I'm very behind on my writing already!) I can honestly say it has not disappointed. However … A one month visa has not nearly given me enough days to explore the country - I so wish I could have another month here (maybe more) but unfortunately time is not on my side!

The HIGHLIGHTS:

HCMC: the first thing we do in Vietnam? Celebrate young Oliver’s 23rd birthday! This means a pub crawl with matching hats, of course. We did try to be classy earlier in the day, and have expensive cocktails at the Bitexco Tower, but a pub crawl was calling our English hearts. And besides, we wanted the free hats.

Our next activity was a water park – cultural, ay? In fairness, it was cheap as chips, unsafe as hell, and we got to watch people belly flop off the zip wire. A winning day if you ask me. 

We did eventually see some of the historic and beautiful sites of HCM (I swear). 

The weirdest was the pink dyed doves outside the “Notre Dame” Cathedral. The yummiest was the

 food at the Street market – touristy, but I got tofu spring rolls and an oyster bun – so I will never 

complain! 

The most important place we visited was, of course, the War Remnants museum. Now coming here so soon after visiting the Killing Fields and S21 museum in Cambodia, probably wasn't the best idea – we were still feeling quite raw. Regardless of this, the museum was still one of the highlights of my stay in Saigon. Learning about these countries histories, especially Vietnam where the physical after effects of the war – birth deformities from earlier generations exposure to Agent Orange gas, and the possibility of triggering an  unexploded landmines, are still very much a threat for the Vietnamese – it feels like the war is still continuing for them. Once again, I urge fellow travellers to visit and learn from these sites to truly appreciate the hardships these lovely people are trying to overcome. 

Mũi Né: Mũi Né was a very fun and relaxing little break after the city life of Phnom Penh and HCM. Arriving late in the afternoon justified our decision to lounge on a beach whilst watching hundreds of people kite surf (unfortunately, this was the only windy day during our stay, so we were unable to have lessons!) – a pretty fantastic sight, and my camera/photography skills have not nearly done it justice! 

The next day was spent visiting the sand dunes – which is so cool. You get picked up in a jeep. A jeep! Automatically cool. 

The sand dunes themselves were beautiful, and Fi and I got to ride quad bikes (without crashing! – I mean we got beached a couple of times, but that doesn't count … Right? RIGHT?) We also got to walk down the “Fairy Stream” - I'm still not entirely sure what this was though …

The rest of our stay was spent topping up our tans – which are on POINT, I might add – and playing Marco Polo in the pool. (Fi totally knows who that is now too – see, we’re learning so many new things travelling).

The return to HCM

So, we made the decision to continue our journey to the North of Vietnam … on motorbikes.

Yes, I bought a bike. Yes, Fi bought a bike. (Friends and family will either be pissing themselves, or crying in fear at this) – and I guess we’ll now discover whether my Dad really does read my blog, because I'll be getting a Howler. 

Nevertheless, bikes were brought, and we were ready to start our big adventure. 

Almost.

I made it 10km out if the city before my bike rejected me, threw me to the side of the road, decided to detach itself from its breaks, and genuinely commit suicide.

RIP Hermes.

I paid a small fortune for some weird guy with a tuktuk-like mini truck to take me and my bike back to the city. – well, not actually in the city, he dumped me in the middle of nowhere, and miraculously, hours later, Ollie and Fi managed to find and save me. 

However, the next morning I had a new red bike, a lot less money, and a belly full of caffeine.

A pretty successful start all in all ;) 

Next stop (on our road trip): Đà Lạt!!

Into Cambodia Pt.2

Visited: Kampot and Phnom Penh

(Featuring Alex and Ollie – we do get rid of one of them, I promise)

The HIGHLIGHTS:

Kampot: pepper farms, Crab markets (with the best grilled squid!), Man vs. Food challenge, and the longest power cut known to civilisation.

Attempted timed food challenge, by worlds slowest food consumer 

Crabby crabby 

Phnom Penh: The best veggie burger that ever existed (@Cousins Diner), 8 fluffy puppies whom we greeted every morning on our coffee and pastry stroll,, the Killing Fields, S21 museum, a Bon voyage to our baby Alex (whom we have shipped over to the Americas to live a better life).

One of the puppies I nearly dognapped

The DREAM TEAM

VISAs: 

So getting a visa for Vietnam is easy …unless you're picking it up from Cambodia. Note: the Embassy workers are the spawn of Satan. They will fuck up your visa. They will charge you $55 for no reason. They will take your soul and live happily ever after, in hell. 

The SERIOUS STUFF

So one of the more sombre moments of my travels was visiting the Killing Fields and the S21 museum in Phnom Penh. Now, I had no real knowledge of Cambodian history/not too distant history, so when I learnt what happened during the “secretive” Civil War, I was completely undone. Fi and I felt very different for a few days after visiting, and I think it's difficult not to be once you learn how people suffered, and the cruel barbarity that was adopted by those in charge. The fact that these acts of inhumanity were done during our parents lifetime, and by those sharing the same nationality, is completely incomprehensible to me. The whole experience is a struggle – you cannot, and do not want to believe that such a thing could happen, but by visiting these places it's almost like you can feel the suffering and depression that lived there.

I strongly advise anyone travelling to Cambodia to visit. You will need a Kleenex, and some time to recover afterwards. Never forget 🌾

Next stop: VIETNAM

Into Cambodia

Into CAMBODIA (part 1.)

The roads thus travelled: Siem Reap > Koh Kong > Koh Rong Samloem > Koh Ta Kiev

The HIGHLIGHTS

Siem Reap: Angkor Wat temples (breathtaking – and they make you feel like Indiana Jones), a Khmer cooking class, and a romantic Valentines bike ride through the city with Fi.

Koh Kong: Jungle trekking, waterfall swimming, and bbq’d barracuda on the beach.

Koh Rong Samloem: see below for the wonderful antics performed at KRS.
(We decided to skip Koh Rong, which although known for causing travellers to get sick, also had a virus spreading, and Fi and I like food and sun too much to risk becoming invalids).

Koh Ta Kiev (with Alex and Ollie): a small island - no mirrors, bucket showers, campfire making, a planking competition, and sand in your beds (and everywhere else).

The beautiful Koh Rong Samloem

The Koh Rong Samloem Adventures

KRS is an island just South of mainland Cambodia, renowned for its beautiful sea, chilled vibes, and lack of wifi.
The four days spent on this island are probably some of my favourites. Our first hostel, Driftwood, was set in a remote cove, with a cool treehouse style lounge, and some fluffy goats strolling about.
Upon arrival we learnt that, due to a lack of wifi, there had been an overbooking of the dorm rooms. Some people were left to camp in tents or sleep hammocks – and some very lucky people (cough cough) were upgraded to private wooden bungalows, with the coolest outdoor shower you have ever seen (I shit you not, I've never had such a long shower, purely just from not being able to stop staring at the beautiful jungle surrounding me).

Our beautiful bungalow 

And the amazing outdoor shower

Driftwood was a wonderful place to stay – even just for one night – the morning yoga class and massive hash browns are not to be missed!

The one problem? Our next two nights on the island were to be spent at a different hostel: Mad Monkey (I don't think any explanation is required as to the “type” of hostel this is). Now, MM is located on a cove round the corner from Driftwood – an impossible hike away, or a 10 minute boat ride away.

A $20 10 minute boat ride.
Please note: our 12 hour bus from Bangkok to Siem Reap was cheaper.

So what do we do as two thrifty backpackers? We decide to walk to a different cove, with a larger pier, and try to get a cheaper boat from there.
Genius! Right? … Let's carry our massive backpacks through a jungle with steep climbs and descents, then through the ocean which is thigh deep, for 4.5 MILES.

Geniuses we are not. But we fucking did it! - with zero injuries, several curses, one Fi tantrum where she threw her backpack down a hill, and only the occasional fearful thought that a cobra might kill us.

The only negative side to this incredible accomplishment? The boat was still fucking $20.

So we decided to stay in the beautiful M’Pai Bay for the remainder of our stay.
And what did we do?

• One sunset boat trip: where we saw almost zero aqua life whilst snorkelling, but Fi did manage to catch a fish for the locals dinner (Y)
• Got our falafel and hummus fix at a delicious Turkish  restaurant on the pier
• Go kayaking … Just kidding. What we actually did was hijack two kayaks booked by four guys, sit in the middle, enjoying the sun, whilst they paddled us around the island. This was relaxing until my kayak (accompanied by paddlers Ollie and Maverik) got caught in a very strong current, capsized and spent what felt like hours trying to return the short distance back to shore. (I helped by holding the electrical goods and throwing out water with my hands from our sinking kayak … #icarriedawatermelon).
• The rest of the time was spent drinking sweet ice coffee, sunbathing, swimming, playing ‘tap the cock’, pool, getting sassy comments from the 13 year old Cambodian waiter, and laughing at the sunburnt white people (it's okay if you know them)


Next stops: Kampot and Phnom Penh
(We still haven't managed to get rid of Alex and Ollie yet).

Around South Thailand in 30 days - part 2

Remaining SOUTH THAILAND


The roads travelled: Phuket > Koh Samui > Koh Pha Ngan > Koh Tao > Bangkok


The HIGHLIGHTS:

Phuket: not my favourite place visited, although we did have a sick night out on Chinese New Year with some middle aged men who kept using their flip flops as phones (which Fi then adopted as a form of communication). We also did an accidental  10 mile hike to Freedom beach after our hostel worker gave us appalling directions – but it was worth it, as it is a millions times nicer than the over crowded and dirty Patong beach!

Koh Samui: we had the sweetest driver called Mr Nice who took us to some cool places including; Hin Ta and Hin Yai, aka the Grandfather and Grandmother rock (due to their genitalia shape) - the story goes that once upon a time an elderly couple were trying to find a bride for their only son, who had come of age. They set sail to travel to a nearby province, where their was an eligible woman, however ... a storm caused their boat to be destroyed, and the couple, unable to swim, died at sea where it is believed the rocks were formed to allow the intended brides parents to see their true intentions ... Please see the "cock rock" photo below for evidence of the tragic tale.
For a couple of nights we resided at a place called Nid’s Bungalows, which is kinda like a mini animal kingdom. Fi and I fell in love with all the puppies and kitty's hanging around – especially when they tried to get into our room at night!

Koh Pha Ngan: unfortunately I was sick during our stay on this island, but I did manage to make it out for the Half Moon Festival (commitment right there) – although this was overpriced, it did allow us to spend all night dancing in an 90’s only r’n’b cave in the middle of a jungle. Whoop!! Fi and I also enjoyed being repeatedly mistaken as the same person throughout the night #twinning.

Koh Tao: we did an amazing boat trip on KT, and although we didn't see any sharks or giant turtles as promised, we did get a cup of tea, snorkel around to see rainbow fish, and get some insane snaps of the island Koh Nang Yuan! In the evening we spent our time at the funniest Ladyboy cabaret show – leaving slightly depressed knowing that the Arianna Grande impersonator was hotter than us.

To end this journey we took a night bus back to Bangkok, where we arrived two hours early at 4am, had to walk the streets of Khao San Road before deciding to spend our time in a 24 hour McDonalds before our hotel check in. Totally loving the backpacker life ;)



Next stop: CAMBODIA!!

View of Koh Nang Yuan

Our adopted housemate in Koh Samui

Playing the tourists

Zip wiring over the jungle 

Around South Thailand in 30 days

SOUTH THAILAND

The roads thus travelled: Bangkok > Ao Nang > Koh Phi Phi > Koh Lanta


CHECKLIST:

1. Get on the plane to Thailand: slightly more complicated than one would expect - apparently you need proof of intent to actually exit the country within 30 days of arrival. Result: two very startled backpackers, making an emergency purchase of bus tickets to Cambodia at Manchester airport.
2. Eat some sort of insect/scorpion: first night in Bangkok ... tastes just like crunchy prawns.
3. Be a savvy traveller: unfortunately we were conned on our second day and ended up buying train tickets for quadruple their actual value. Note: stay clear of seemingly sweet Thai ladies outside 7/11!
4. Stay away from stray animals: a consistent failure of epic proportions. I hug puppies, carry kitties, and generally have to be restrained from putting animals in my backpack.
5. Stay in contact with the loved ones back home: I think I actually talk to them more now I'm travelling ... And I'm not entirely sure that they enjoy this ;)
6. Be sensible: ... aka don't get threatened with the Mafia when at a Ping Pong show - whoops.
7. Ride a moped: I got the pinkest scooter possible - no crashes, no breakdowns - winning!
8. Be a cultured and knowledgable traveller: we were doing so well ... until we gatecrashed the King's funeral (I'm genuinely surprised that we weren't deported)
9. Try something never done before: do mushroom shakes count?
10. Write my first blog post before getting to Cambodia: ... you ask too much of me.

Current Favourites ...
Favourite place: Koh Lanta
Favourite dish: Tofu massaman curry!! (Although I must confess I have fallen prey to the very Thai, cough, pre-made cheese toasties from 7/11)
Favourite moment: taking a shower under the waterfall in Koh Lanta

Next stops: Phuket > Koh Pha Ngan > Koh Tao > Bangkok

The Palace in Bangkok (5 mins prior to gate crashing the funeral)

The best tofu massaman curry 

Waterfall antics in Koh Lanta

Me with my pink scooter :)

Visiting the animal shelter and contemplating putting kitties in my backpack